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If you're someone who knows you want a committed, long-term relationship, what's the point in going out and casually hanging out with people who don't want that? It's important to know what you want, and not waste time on people who aren't going to stand a chance of giving it to you.If you don't want to spend your emotional energy and the weekends of your youth committing yourself, bit by bit, to somebody else (sheerly by how much you do together and sacrifice for one another), you'll end up more wholly yourself and less desperate to settle with whomever you can attach your hopes and dreams to next.The best way to end up with someone who wants the same things as you, with whom you're more likely to stay on the same life wavelength with, is to take the time alone to get yourself already started on the path you want to take.Once you're there, it might be a better time to look up and see who's around you, headed in the same direction.What most people don't understand is that you aren't opting out of relationships right now because you hate them.

Being involved with another person means hard work that doesn't always get reciprocated.(There's nothing wrong with insisting that you have it, either).They all require work, but not all of them have a real, effective payout.Feeling that way doesn't make you an unemotional monster, that makes you a real human being with varying interests and priorities. You are, in short, living a very full life right now and unless you dropped some things from your agenda, you would never have the time to date anyone—and you don't want to drop any of the beloved things you have going on.It is so, so good to know this, and to opt out of dating for a while, as opposed to trying to date and being flaky, negligent and basically the worst.

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