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The idea is to seem interesting to talk to; listing where you were born is not that.What this means when you message: Do not open with anything sexual—not a dick pic, not a pick up line, not even a sexually-adjacent compliment.Do not try to be clever, or overly familiar, e.g., “You look exactly like my next girlfriend.” Try opening with a question, and no, “wyd rn ;),” doesn’t count.

Everyone who’s been on a dating app for more than two days has lamented how unfair the whole process is, as if they didn’t know that dating favors hot people. This is an entirely made up figure, but 87% of your profile is your first picture.Imagine dating like feeding a deer (I know this is a weird metaphor stick with me). “Funny” photos, like the kind where everyone else is smiling and you’re flicking off the photographer.You want to hold your hand out and stay still, letting the deer come to you, realizing you’re open to giving it food. You don’t have to flirt via Tinder for weeks on end—some people aren’t good at messaging and that’s fine! Almost all attempts at conveying that you’re funny via a photo will fall flat. Post photos of you with groups of friends, or drinking a silly tropical drink, or playing with your niece or nephew.Instead, try telling people what you’re like in a playful way. “I listen to Christmas music all year round,” or “I can teach you to drive stick shift,” are great examples that also give your fellow swipers something to message you about.What this means when you message: Don’t be overly eager to meet up with a woman; if we’ve only messaged 4 times within the app, I’m almost certainly not ready to meet you face-to-face yet.

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