Tips to dating
“We attract the things that we think about, so you don’t want to stay in the I-don’t-like-people-who-lie mindset,” Virginia says.Because then all you will attract are more partners who lie.Past relationships and tons of not-so-good dates can provide lots of intel about what you want in a partner. Yes, obviously you want to be attracted to the person, but at the end of the day, what really matters are those inner attributes and core values.Once you get clarity around your desires, which may require some self-reflection and sitting down with pen and paper, then start focusing on them.“When you’re clear on the inner traits of someone, they’re probably going to come in a package you don’t expect,” she says. “I tell singles in their 30s to take a deep breath and not to focus on their age,” Spira says. “I find [rules] get in the way of finding a meaningful connection,” Spira says, because every situation is so different.
But even if a longterm monogamous relationship isn’t your endgame, you’re likely sick of the wishy-washiness and tomfoolery you once let slide.Your 30s is the perfect time to branch out from your typical “type” and date new people. “I’ve encouraged dating coaching clients of mine to date outside of their comfort zone, initially with resistance,” Spira says.“It’s often a wonderful surprise when they actually enjoyed dating a different type than the ‘bad boys’ from earlier days.” That’s exactly why Virginia puts such a strong focus on inner traits instead of what looks good on paper.There is no magical place with other single people.The beauty is that they’re doing the same things you are.” Above all else, listening to your intuition is so key when it comes to dating in your 30s.