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This keeps the focus on the sexual behavior, actually making things worse by putting the client at odds with his or her sexuality and actually causing the behaviors to increase.
However, I have rarely experienced this to be successful.
For example, in the SA model a man who can’t stop undressing women in his mind is encouraged to manage his lust by self-policing how long he looks at a woman— the three-second rule.
The assumption is that simply stopping the addictive behavior will bring him back to healthy sex and marriage.
The groups, as well as the information, were easily accessible, and clients understood the concept immediately.
I became a certified sex addiction therapist, and fully embraced the model until 2010 when I began to see some serious flaws.
* All too often, sex addiction therapy’s focus is on altering sexual behavior.
” We now know more about transgender issues and how normative it is for many straight men to enjoy dressing in women’s clothes and underwear, and how it isn’t at all humiliating for them.
This therapist was using his own bias or belief system rather than the latest science to treat his client, and needs to expand his understanding and protect the client from his countertransference.
This ignores the research that shows that, for some, pleasure and pain combined is and can be normative and erotic.
One sex addiction therapist I knew believed it was wrong for a man to wear woman’s clothing for sexual arousal because, “Why would the man want to humiliate himself in this way?