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Salt-N-Pepa's song, "Let's Talk About Sex," was a hit for a reason: Couples who discuss tricky topics, like what's going down in the bedroom, are 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who ignore difficult subjects, says Joseph Grenny, social scientist and co-author of "Talking about sexual intimacy tops that small list." Before you get beneath the sheets (and maybe even after), experts say you should have these sex conversations with your partner.
But it's also possible to have a major fail, landing you smack in the middle of a 50 Shades of "OMG, what are you doing?! That's why it's important to talk about boundaries before experimenting in bed, says Carol Queen, Ph.
D., staff sexologist for the online sex toy shop Good Vibrations.
There are three things you can do to help make this happen.
Figuring out how close you want to be to that average is important.
Otherwise, one partner could quickly start to feel unsatisfied, be that because they're not having it often enough or because they're feeling pressured to do it more often than they'd like. If one of you is a morning sex person while the other tends to be evening-only, consider a calendar compromise.