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Frances’ first-date trick (known as her “Heartache Prevention Question”) is simply to ask him, point blank, if he believes in X (X being your ultimate dream and goal, be it monogamy, marriage, having a family, or running away to join the circus).It may seem simple, but it’s incredibly effective if you’re prepared to really listen to his answer.“On the second and third dates, what I like to have my clients do is really pay attention to how consistent he is.

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In order to do that, she devised a way to tell whether a guy wants the same things as you, which should be the foundation of any long-term relationship (we discussed it here on Smitten a few years ago).If this happens as soon as you exchange numbers on a dating app, before you’ve even had a single date, then you’ll know he’s just buttering you up for sex.“He will start creating a romantic fantasy via text that will allow you to feel like you’re more romantically connected than he’s earned by actually taking you out on dates.He’ll take you out to concerts, he’ll take you out to restaurants, he won’t be pressuring you for sex, he’ll keep trying to get to know you.” Some guys are really horny, let’s face it. But if he’s looking for a wife, he’ll be looking for more than just a naked body and can make it through two or three dates without taking off your clothes.If not, he might just be pursuing you for the nookie.

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