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We want people to go in without the complications that make them human, the petty desires and shallow needs and manipulations, and to fall hopelessly, madly, non-spreadsheetedly in love, and to forget about all else (assuming we feel the same way—if not, they're creepy).The spreadsheet brings us back to a reality in which people are more complicated, have more complicated lives, and maybe, have motivations other than simply wooing one particular person purely.This guy's "game" failed because it was nerdy, because he did it the wrong way, because he told the wrong people.But if a spreadsheet helps, let daters have the spreadsheet. That's just dumb." data-reactid="44"exist, we also really don't like thinking that the people we're dating are doing any of that sort of thinking at all.By assembling users’ clicks and keystrokes into one place and spending hours inside Excel, Rudder had found a way to articulate our humanity. In 2012 Rudder proposed a book based on his blog, and Crown outlasted nine other publishers with a seven-figure bid.The book arrives on Tuesday, bearing the kind of Gladwellian title — “Dataclysm: Who We Are When We Think No One’s Looking” — meant to tell readers that a Big Idea lies between the covers.There is more to it than that—as the self-help relationship books illustrate, everybody's angling for .

But it's not like "keeping track" in some physical form is a bad thing.People can date however they want to date, including more than one person at a time—they often do—until they agree they're not.And if a spreadsheet helps you remember someone's name, or what you did the last time you were together, so be it.The bad thing is acknowledging, to the How to Spot a Lie in an Online Dating Profile A spreadsheet-keeping woman in her 30s who at one point was dating 5 to 10 guys at a time had this to say: "Out of respect for the likely many people you are in correspondence with when online dating, not to remember needing to remember pet names, brother is a twin, where they went to school, etc., a spreadsheet is a helpful tool for everyone involved.That said, in the same way we don't show rough drafts of the final manuscript, or reveal game plans on national broadcast sporting events, the spreadsheet definitely should be confidential and not shared with others, especially dates!

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