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Do you sometimes feel depressed, anxious or even angry about wantng and yet not having found a partner to love?One dear friend of mine, now in her sixties, recently re-found the love of her life, re-found because way back in junior high friends used to say that some day they would end up together.Another, in her mid fifties and long-ago having decided that love would never come her way, seems to have found her true love.What can increase your odds of finding true love as well, if you are over 50 or at any time? The book Autumn Romance: Stories and Portraits of Love after 50, looks like a coffee table art book, but I have not been able to leave it on the table. In Autumn Romance, thirty couples each share how their inspiring later-in-life romances came to be. Here's five essential tips for love after 50 based on recurring themes in the stories in Autumn Romance. No need to go overboard with arrogance about how great you are. Many of the now-happy lovers had experienced the pain of divorce. Defensive instead of listening to their partner's perspectives? If you stay at home, the odds that you will meet someone zoom down. Go visit historical sites or become a volunteer at a historical site. Learn the skills for communicating in ways that sustain relationship goodwill and that resolve differences collaboratively.Every story, engagingly retold by author/artist Carol Denker, conveys insights into what love is and what people have done to be able to welcome it into their lives. After a divorce it's easy to blame the failure of the relationship on your spouse. Too forgiving instead of able to stand up and say when their partner's behavior is unacceptable and that they would leave unless it changed? The eventual lovers each first let themselves love what they loved to do...do lots of it. As soon as you leave your house, and especially if you leave to go do activities you enjoy, your odds of bumping into someone with similar interests zoom upward. In my books and website that teach the skills for marriage success, I focus on the four skill sets that my couples therapy clients find especially potent: a) Give forth positivity, that is, appreciation, affection, gratitude, smiles, helpfulness, etc. The closer you can get to zero criticism, blame, and anger the better.

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