Dating but not living together business cycle dating committee of the national bureau of economic
“When I was in New York, I was overworked and not fully present.
Now we have better quality time.”Is LAT a forever arrangement? After all, how realistic is it that you'd keep separate places if you start a family?
“I do think it really forces communication.”Turns out, this setup is kind of a thing!
Sociologists call it “living apart together,” or LAT, and it's distinctly different from the phenomenon of commuter relationships, in which couples live apart for their jobs but typically see an end date to their living-apart-ness.
Fox says they'll deal with that conversation as it comes up.
So I called Judith Newman, a New York author who has written about this lifestyle based on her experience living about 70 city blocks from her husband, John, for almost 25 years—a journey she touched on in her new book, .Plus, she adds, it's made their relationship possible.“[Some] people get married or start to live with each other, and all of these qualities they find wonderful rub up against the ones that aren't supportable on a day-to-day basis,” she says.“For some, LAT is a way to play to the strengths of the relationship without succumbing to its weaknesses,” says Finkel.“It makes time together special, rather than mundane and habitual.”For Annie Fox and her husband, Nash, having two Brooklyn apartments a few blocks away from each other was in part a pragmatic decision made when they were dating.