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My lord and savior Beyoncé had just debuted “Formation” during Coldplay’s otherwise snooze of a halftime show.Now, I’m not here to unpack the social importance of that song, but this is what you should know: It holds a strong cultural significance for black women. White men including my boyfriend at the time, who after seeing the excitement and pride induced by this performance said, “You know, Beyoncé should really just stick to singing and dancing and stay out of politics. It’s actually very irresponsible.” Well I’ll be damned. She was a chatty and congenial Aussie, with a distinctive no-bullshit edge. And a number of biracial celebrities — including Alicia Keys, Drake, Halle Berry, and Wentworth Miller — were born to white mothers and black fathers.Most importantly on a Friday night, she was a straight woman in gay bar who wasn’t playing the I’m-such-a-fabulous-fag-hag card while taking up way more space than necessary. I have a theory about white women and black men, and it goes a little something like this.We may be a part of each other’s stories for one night only or catch heart eyes and last several years (if you’re so lucky). That’s the most creative side hustle I’ve heard about in years!But there’s one certainty that we’re both aware of well before we meet in person for the first time. You divulge secrets to me that you’ve never told anyone, let alone a stranger. Besides, the average millionaire has seven streams of income. But everyone has their do-not-cross-or-I-will-judge-you line. And though I’m not triggered by much, the color of my skin coupled with the truth serum that is my personality make me more prone to defending my line of judgement than the average person. And though crossing the black girl’s line may seem scary (since we face the unfortunate stereotype of becoming monsters when angry), believe me when I say that through all of the side-eye and robust hand gestures, I am here to educate you on why and how to never cross this line.Do I actually look like her, or should you stop and take a sip of your drink? Then there are the more serious offenses that I’ve learned need to be called out and shut down with the grace and precision of a Navy SEAL.
As a black woman dating a non-black (and non-white) man, I’ve become more and more aware of the way in which these stereotypes So much of the discourse surrounding interracial relationships seems to center on black and white couplings.
No, black men and women who date or marry white partners (especially after being with black people in the past) are not necessarily doing so for status or validation.
There are a lot of reasons why people are attracted to other people.
Nor the one who asked me why there isn’t a “White History Month,” too. You’re wrong for making me feel as though my presence only holds value when it makes you feel superior. That my voice and brain are severe threats to your obviously fragile manhood.
And especially not the one who “joked” that the only reason I got my job was because of affirmative action.