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“When you’re clear on the inner traits of someone, they’re probably going to come in a package you don’t expect,” she says. “I tell singles in their 30s to take a deep breath and not to focus on their age,” Spira says. “I find [rules] get in the way of finding a meaningful connection,” Spira says, because every situation is so different.

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But even if a longterm monogamous relationship isn’t your endgame, you’re likely sick of the wishy-washiness and tomfoolery you once let slide.There is a temptation to create or communicate a [version of] you that, like an Instagram post, will garner the most likes.Do not contort yourself to fit what you presume others desire. Use Tinder to communicate what you actually desire, so you can find someone you truly like.”“We know it sounds counterintuitive, but you read this right.But as frustrating as it can feel to watch the people around you get hitched and have babies while you’re spending your Friday nights going on a string of lackluster dates, there are a lot of benefits to dating in your 30s.There’s just something about your third decade that makes you feel way more grounded and secure in who you are.

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