13 stepping in aa dating
However, while working the third step we begin to focus our attention on seeking knowledge of a Higher Power’s will for us.
Making a decision to turn our lives and will over can’t do anything unless we take the actions necessary to turn it over.
Simply making a decision without following it up with action is meaningless.
For example, you can make a decision to go to a meeting, but if you don’t leave your home for the rest of the day, it won’t happen, will it?
Recovery is a spiritual process and step three is when the doors of hope, faith and trust are opened allowing us to once again take a deep breath and feel the serenity: a gift of sobriety.
The essence of step three is turning over your will, getting out of the way, and being restored to reality, honesty, balance and peace of mind.
I had lunch with a friend recently and she was really uncertain about where things stood with the guy she was seeing. And there’s a big difference between expressing curiosity and being controlling. If you aren’t sure when you are going to see each other again, then you’re not in a relationship.
Every step of the way, they wonder about the relationship status and where the relationship is heading, but it’s so much easier just to ask. Perhaps it’s a fine line, but it’s not desperate to want to communicate. Personally, I always appreciated direct questions and a direct approach. And if either of us didn’t like the answers, we could move on and we saved ourselves a lot of time.
But the point here is that people tend to “advance the frames” in their own mind while they forget to communicate with their partner. So you save a lot of wasted time and emotional investment and unnecessary suffering and emotional pain.
And if questions like these frighten off the other person, it means that’s not where their head is at and it wasn’t going to go in that direction anyway.
In step three of AA you are making a decision: it’s that simple. Making a decision to turn your will over to God or a “Higher Power” can be just like putting on a new pair of glasses and seeing everything more clearly.